I don’t know about you guys but I am done. I recently had what I would call a COVID meltdown. I convinced myself being ok, everything would be fine. But not the last days.
And therefore we can add another case to the Corona study. RIP optimism. But wait, NO! I don’t want to!
I know I got all these tools I learned from Yoga and Meditation and I should encourage you to not give up and stay strong (and healthy of course). And I will. I promise. But sometimes I am just a human, vulnerable and fragil. And that’s why I am honest and open up this chapter.
When I was back in Germany I thought about visiting friends and family, getting things in order and stay just for a couple of weeks. After all, other adventures meant to wait for me. Like going back to an Indian Ashram practicing Yoga and meditation, learning more about the massage technique I already use. Going to the beautiful, heavenly island Siargao for surfing and on my way back a quick visit in Sri Lanka before I finally end up in Portugal to host my first Surf & Yoga Retreat. Sounds like a perfect plan? And I guess you also had plans which all of a sudden collapsed. And it’s not only about having dreams to fulfill. Many, uncountable livelihoods have been destroyed. Working as a Yoga teacher or Massage Therapist for example was not possible for a long time and still people are afraid having contact to others.
Well, thanks to John Lennon, I already know that “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”. So I was really convinced that this crisis which effects the world, all of us will not last for long. How naive, right? Well, I got it now. It stays already longer then I ever expect it to stay. Doesn’t matter what my desires are. Till my Covid-meltdown I still had this aversion. I don’t want it to be true. Like a child who don’t get its sweets.
Reading the news, following social media posts made me feel lonesome. Day by day a little bit more. And didn’t feel at the right place. Nowhere. Although I was with family and friends or being at the ocean. Nothing was the same anymore. Nothing to feel home.
We where told #staystrongtogether but how does that work when we have to maintain social distance? How to feel like a free human when you cannot act like that anymore? These both loneliness and the lack of freedom lead to the point where I lost my optimism, stumbled and slide into a vast hole of self-pity and cried a lot. I wasn’t aware of where it came from, complained about this and that and didn’t find the right answer. Instead i got tensed. Really stiff. Frozen. It’s ok to have self compassion because we are in a certain situation. But don’t become overwhelmed. And if so just give me a call and we talk it through!
Well, I still have these Yoga & Meditation tools in hand, right? As I mentioned in previous posts about stress and adrenaline, tension and anxiety, you just have to hold on and observe without judging or clinging to sensations or emotions. Breathe and stay present and you will figure that it is a sensation that sooner or later will pass away… and it does. The moment when I remembered what I’ve been taught during Vipassana I could let go. And that was a great relive. Fun fact: I could feel it throughout my body. I am not that tense anymore.
Working to release my tension I practice Yin Yoga daily. Wich includes Meditation, observation of the body and conscious breathing. I am happy to share my knowledge and experience with you. If you are struggling, instead of giving up just give me a call and we schedule a private session.
Don’ t let Covid spread fear and loneliness.
Lots of love and light – Andrea <3
